Things growing a beard taught me

A couple years ago, my wife asked me to let my beard grow out because she likes facial hair (on guys). I obliged because I really have no affinity not to. I've always had some kind of facial hair since soon after my mission, so letting it grow longer wasn't a big deal to me. 

I thought that after the beard got bigger than my head, it deserved a name of it's own. One day after looking in the mirror, admiring the length and body of this fluffy embodiment residing under my face TJ was born. (Tony Jr.) (Fluffy was a close second.) Initially, it was quite fun to stroke TJ, until I realized it made him lose some hair. 

Like most adolescents, there was an awkward phase where he just looked goofy, scraggly and unkempt. Learning how to care for TJ has been an enlightening experience. As a bald guy, I had no idea how much product hair takes to properly maintain and just how critical it is, too. After a discussion with another beard-bro, I learned the importance of conditioner and beard oils. I'd say the three most important bits of advice I could pass on to other beard-bro's are this, condition, condition, condition. 

1) Respect: This one was unexpected. There is an heir of extra respect that comes from having a lengthy beard. As though because of this long and beautiful mane, I somehow have all the answers or know what the hell I'm doing. 

2) Beard envy is a thing. It's kind of like when dogs get excited when they see each other. Also, like when bikers give each other the wave when passing on the road, other guys with beards typically get acknowledged. There are many conversations that have been had simply because of TJ's presence. 

3) Judgement: Some people can be extremely judgmental over something that doesn't affect them in any way. Almost as though there is some made up dress code I am violating. This primarily comes from the older "super-religious". 

Why would it matter at all that I look differently, by choice or otherwise. Some people hide scars or other unpleasantries beneath facial hair. Like myself, my father hides his face. It turns him from a no-chinned troll to a man to be respected and revered. I look a bit like Homer Simpson without a beard, kind of like a flesh toned bowling ball with a huge nose.

It's comforting to appreciate that Christ won't judge near as harshly as some people do. I understand why He hung out with the salt of the earth and not the "saints". (Who BTW, murdered Him.)

There are some interesting things that come from having a longer beard. First off, a lot of guys compliment the beard. Call it beard envy, call it lust. Very few, if any woman have ever really complimented the beard. My wife says this is because its socially inappropriate. Psha! As if! When I see a nice head of hair, I'm giving a compliment.  

Not that it should matter but interestingly enough, there have been about as many comments 'opposed to' as are 'for' my longer beard. 

Three kind of reactions to a beard: 

1) Nothing. I'm not treated any differently.

2) Envy. Sweet beard, I wish I could grow one. It either doesn't fill in or a social construct prevents one from feeling they can look different. (An interesting thing I've noticed from this group is some people grant more respect than they did before I grew it out.)

3) Harsh judgment. "We'll just go shave that right off you". Said one temple worker. As if God will judge me for not conforming to some socially constructed cookie cutter mold. They treat me as if I'm some outcast, only temporarily let into the fold. Or as though I have some sort of disability and speak slower to me, as though I'm special or didn't get the memo. Judging another child of God in such a silly way. I'm not allowed to serve in the temple and some temple workers almost treat me as though I have a disability that may prevent me from entering the kingdom of God.

Is there a dress code in God's kingdom? Do we have to look a certain way, dress a certain way, act a certain way? Or does He know and see us for who we really are. Understand that once we lay down this mortal frame, we will all be physically equal. That we won't be judged how we looked but we'll be judged by how we loved, how we served, how much we endured.

I fear for those who judge so harshly. I'm under the impression that Christ won't judge us so much as we'll judge ourselves. With the same harshness with which they judge, they'll judge themselves. Where Christ would patiently, lovingly welcome them into His loving arms. They will shun away from Him, feeling themselves unworthy. Denying themselves the power of the atonement to cleanse them from their sins and allow them peace and tranquility through his grace. 

We were commanded to love our neighbors. There were no caveats, asterisks or fine print. Just Love. 

Not only love them if they look, feel and act like we do. To love everyone indiscriminately. Because how can we look at a persons outward appearance and know what kind of eternal being they really are? 

Why would God make us, give us an ability to grow a beard and be disappointed that we have one. Were we not created in His image? Isn't nearly every depiction we have of Him... with a beard?!

The judgment and policies of man will pass with time. It's an outdated policy that has nothing to do with worshiping and serving God, emulating our savior and following His example, or listening to the spirit. The discrimination of facial hair is a fallacy of man. Not God.