Let me preface that it's not easy to put myself out there like this and share one of my most tender and spiritual experiences so openly. I have resolved with myself that, what was the point in having had these experiences if I don't share them to uplift others around me. My current goal is to share these deep feelings and experiences in order to do just that.
Up until this point in my life I had encountered much hardship in my youth that gave me a unique perspective. Although not always popular with those around me who often viewed life much differently, including many other missionaries. My current companion was certainly no exception. The reason I wanted to serve a mission boiled down to one thing, I wanted to help people. Before I knew where I'd be assigned, before I received the call, before I even submitted the papers to serve. This was my only goal. To help people.
I wanted to share what had brought me happiness and purpose when I found myself drifting in a very low and gruesome void. I had tried many worldly things only to find that they not only didn't help but seemed to dig the void even deeper. I had learned that the only thing that would fill that void was reading the book of Mormon. It brought me joy, purpose and strength where there was none.
Flashing forward with some background to this point:
Up until this point in my life I had encountered much hardship in my youth that gave me a unique perspective. Although not always popular with those around me who often viewed life much differently, including many other missionaries. My current companion was certainly no exception. The reason I wanted to serve a mission boiled down to one thing, I wanted to help people. Before I knew where I'd be assigned, before I received the call, before I even submitted the papers to serve. This was my only goal. To help people.
I wanted to share what had brought me happiness and purpose when I found myself drifting in a very low and gruesome void. I had tried many worldly things only to find that they not only didn't help but seemed to dig the void even deeper. I had learned that the only thing that would fill that void was reading the book of Mormon. It brought me joy, purpose and strength where there was none.
Flashing forward with some background to this point:
We had been meeting with one of the most humble men I've ever met when my first companion and I were tracting. I was fresh from the missionary training center. It was a time when my trainer was letting me lead using my 'greenie fire' to decide where we were going to search for potential investigators. We nearly landed on the doorstep of the perfect investigator. We went in and began to teach him the first discussion, he was so receptive. He had been very actively looking for the correct spiritual path and had read literally hundreds of books trying to find the right religion. He showed us his library of religious literature, pulling out the lower bunk of a day bed. Where the mattress should have been were books stacked filling the entire space, various books from many different religions and authors.
Over the next few months in the discussions with Volodia I remember struggling to understand him as I barely spoke Russian because I was so new, but my companions would translate for me, mostly on the walks home. Then after I understood what his concerns were I would diligently work to find scripture references that would address his questions and concerns. The next time we would meet, I would share those scriptures with him that answered his questions from the previous discussion. It was the best way I could communicate. I knew that the scriptures were translated well enough that I could communicate better through them. He was patient enough that this worked well.
After we had gone through nearly all the discussions he was very committed to being baptized. When we asked him who in the branch he would like to baptize him, as it was the mission policy to have a local member perform the ordinance. He asked if I could do it. He wanted me to do it, he insisted.
Volodia's baptism:
It was late Sunday afternoon, after all the regular church meetings had concluded. At the time, we were still renting all the facilities we used for every meeting. Regular church meetings were conducted in an art gallery. The vividly nude paintings hung gleefully above the children's primary space. The elders quorum met in the bar located in the basement. The baptism's were either performed in a river on the outskirts of town or during the cold months, we would rent out a public bath house. It being a cold November day, we had rented a bath house for the occasion. The bath house was old and run down. The faded blue tiles were decades old, some chipped, some missing, yet all were kept very clean and tidy. Although the floors are clean, everyone typically wore sandals inside their homes or in bathhouses like these. The congregation there to witness the ordinance met in the larger room, where folding chairs had been set up. The meeting would start as soon as Volodia and I had changed into our baptismal clothes. We went into a locker room to change. I wanted to speak with Volodia but my Russian was still very poor, so I spoke through the translation of my more experienced companion. I wanted to convey my deep feelings of gratitude to Volodia for the opportunity to have been able to be in attendance through all of his discussions over the previous several months. I conveyed how much my own testimony had grown through the experience. He also shared his testimony and conveyed his heartfelt gratitude for my service and thanked me for being willing to performing the ordinance. He said he had chosen me because I had a Christ-like quietness about me.
As we began to change into the baptismal clothes, we could hear the hymns being sung in the next room by the congregation as they waited for us. He began to sing and hum along with the hymns, some of which he had so diligently memorized the night before. I felt so inadequate next to such a humble and spiritual man. I must have been his perfect missionary. If I had to guess, it would be because I couldn't speak Russian well enough to screw up a conversation. Hence the "Christ-like quietness." In my entire life, I had never prayed harder to be worthy of the ordinance that would be performed. I had never felt more ready.
When we finished getting dressed, we went into the large room where many of the members and other missionaries were waiting and enjoyed a beautiful meeting with hymns and a talk. We then made our way into the next room where a deep bath had been filled. I climbed into the warm water that went up to my mid belly standing up, Volodia followed. I recall how awkward it felt fumbling around with our hands until we had our arms where they needed to be. In the instant our arms fell into position, after my arm came to a square, I felt as though I was pushed back in my body and was no longer in control of my limbs but was just a witness and was watching the ordinance be performed. The words were coming out of my mouth but I wasn't speaking them. They were the words I had so diligently memorized.
"Владимир Сергеевич кутепов будучи полномочным Иисусом Христом я крещу тебя во имя отца и сына и Духа Святого -Амин."
Then I watched as he was buried under the water and brought back out. Volodia and I shared a loving embrace, then he grabbed my head and kissed me on the cheek and in that instant it felt as though I was pushed forward back into my body to receive that kiss. Then I felt that comforting awkwardness again.
While riding the bus on the way home that night, I used my basic Russian conversational skills to converse with my good friend, Volodia the younger. (As we called him.) He had been at many of the discussions and had given the talk at the baptism. I asked him how he thought the baptism had gone, how had I done? Normally very jestful he paused, became quite serious as his eyes widened, as he intently looked at me and said. "Voodberry, it was amazing, when you said the baptismal prayer, you had no accent!"
The next day I went to Finland to renew my visa. At the same time, Volodia the younger went to serve a mandatory two years in the Russian military. He later went on to serve his mission in Las Vegas and is now an area seventy. I am humbled that I was able to have this and many other experiences and to make friends with some of the most amazing people I've ever met.
My actual journal entry from that day: 09 Nov 1997
Today was an awesome day! Yesterday was cool too. yesterday was Zone conference I felt the Spirit pretty strong and it made me feel really good and got me pumped up. then today after church was Volodia's baptism. Last Wednesday he said he wanted me to perform the ordinance for him. So today I had the opportunity to baptize him, it was awesome! However, I don't recall doing much of the baptism because I felt like I was just a puppet in the Lord's hands. but I said,
Владимир Сергеевич кутепов будучи полномочным Иисусом Христом я крещу тебя во имя отца и сына и Духа Святого Амин.
Then everyone said amen as I buried him into the water then brought him back up. I gave him a hug , then he kissed me on the cheek. Before this I had Elder Russell help me talk to him. I wanted to thank him and tell him how much my testimony had grown from having the opportunity to be at every discussion with him. I went through three companions while teaching him. He told me he chose me to baptize him because I had a Christ-like quietness about me. Today was an awesome day! I was able to perform a sacred ordinance for a great man. Volodia is one of the most humble guys I have ever met. In the past two months he has grown in his testimony and knowledge more than I have in all my life. Things that I am still figuring out, he knows, is learning or has learned. (His birthday is March 15th 1949.) I can't put into words the joy I feel and felt today. I saw him become a clean and pure Man, the most clean and pure person in the room. When we were getting dressed before the baptism, we heard people singing in the other room and he started singing along too. He is an awesome man. He has a big testimony that I'm sure it will expand to be one of the biggest in the branch . I'm very excited for him. Also Volodia the younger is going into the army tomorrow. I am really going to miss him. I am also really looking forward to Finland! We leave tomorrow. I'm excited. I think this week will be one of the best of my life!
I'm happy!
Over the next few months in the discussions with Volodia I remember struggling to understand him as I barely spoke Russian because I was so new, but my companions would translate for me, mostly on the walks home. Then after I understood what his concerns were I would diligently work to find scripture references that would address his questions and concerns. The next time we would meet, I would share those scriptures with him that answered his questions from the previous discussion. It was the best way I could communicate. I knew that the scriptures were translated well enough that I could communicate better through them. He was patient enough that this worked well.
After we had gone through nearly all the discussions he was very committed to being baptized. When we asked him who in the branch he would like to baptize him, as it was the mission policy to have a local member perform the ordinance. He asked if I could do it. He wanted me to do it, he insisted.
Volodia's baptism:
It was late Sunday afternoon, after all the regular church meetings had concluded. At the time, we were still renting all the facilities we used for every meeting. Regular church meetings were conducted in an art gallery. The vividly nude paintings hung gleefully above the children's primary space. The elders quorum met in the bar located in the basement. The baptism's were either performed in a river on the outskirts of town or during the cold months, we would rent out a public bath house. It being a cold November day, we had rented a bath house for the occasion. The bath house was old and run down. The faded blue tiles were decades old, some chipped, some missing, yet all were kept very clean and tidy. Although the floors are clean, everyone typically wore sandals inside their homes or in bathhouses like these. The congregation there to witness the ordinance met in the larger room, where folding chairs had been set up. The meeting would start as soon as Volodia and I had changed into our baptismal clothes. We went into a locker room to change. I wanted to speak with Volodia but my Russian was still very poor, so I spoke through the translation of my more experienced companion. I wanted to convey my deep feelings of gratitude to Volodia for the opportunity to have been able to be in attendance through all of his discussions over the previous several months. I conveyed how much my own testimony had grown through the experience. He also shared his testimony and conveyed his heartfelt gratitude for my service and thanked me for being willing to performing the ordinance. He said he had chosen me because I had a Christ-like quietness about me.
As we began to change into the baptismal clothes, we could hear the hymns being sung in the next room by the congregation as they waited for us. He began to sing and hum along with the hymns, some of which he had so diligently memorized the night before. I felt so inadequate next to such a humble and spiritual man. I must have been his perfect missionary. If I had to guess, it would be because I couldn't speak Russian well enough to screw up a conversation. Hence the "Christ-like quietness." In my entire life, I had never prayed harder to be worthy of the ordinance that would be performed. I had never felt more ready.
When we finished getting dressed, we went into the large room where many of the members and other missionaries were waiting and enjoyed a beautiful meeting with hymns and a talk. We then made our way into the next room where a deep bath had been filled. I climbed into the warm water that went up to my mid belly standing up, Volodia followed. I recall how awkward it felt fumbling around with our hands until we had our arms where they needed to be. In the instant our arms fell into position, after my arm came to a square, I felt as though I was pushed back in my body and was no longer in control of my limbs but was just a witness and was watching the ordinance be performed. The words were coming out of my mouth but I wasn't speaking them. They were the words I had so diligently memorized.
"Владимир Сергеевич кутепов будучи полномочным Иисусом Христом я крещу тебя во имя отца и сына и Духа Святого -Амин."
Then I watched as he was buried under the water and brought back out. Volodia and I shared a loving embrace, then he grabbed my head and kissed me on the cheek and in that instant it felt as though I was pushed forward back into my body to receive that kiss. Then I felt that comforting awkwardness again.
While riding the bus on the way home that night, I used my basic Russian conversational skills to converse with my good friend, Volodia the younger. (As we called him.) He had been at many of the discussions and had given the talk at the baptism. I asked him how he thought the baptism had gone, how had I done? Normally very jestful he paused, became quite serious as his eyes widened, as he intently looked at me and said. "Voodberry, it was amazing, when you said the baptismal prayer, you had no accent!"
The next day I went to Finland to renew my visa. At the same time, Volodia the younger went to serve a mandatory two years in the Russian military. He later went on to serve his mission in Las Vegas and is now an area seventy. I am humbled that I was able to have this and many other experiences and to make friends with some of the most amazing people I've ever met.
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| The Vlad's and I. |
My actual journal entry from that day: 09 Nov 1997
Today was an awesome day! Yesterday was cool too. yesterday was Zone conference I felt the Spirit pretty strong and it made me feel really good and got me pumped up. then today after church was Volodia's baptism. Last Wednesday he said he wanted me to perform the ordinance for him. So today I had the opportunity to baptize him, it was awesome! However, I don't recall doing much of the baptism because I felt like I was just a puppet in the Lord's hands. but I said,
Владимир Сергеевич кутепов будучи полномочным Иисусом Христом я крещу тебя во имя отца и сына и Духа Святого Амин.
Then everyone said amen as I buried him into the water then brought him back up. I gave him a hug , then he kissed me on the cheek. Before this I had Elder Russell help me talk to him. I wanted to thank him and tell him how much my testimony had grown from having the opportunity to be at every discussion with him. I went through three companions while teaching him. He told me he chose me to baptize him because I had a Christ-like quietness about me. Today was an awesome day! I was able to perform a sacred ordinance for a great man. Volodia is one of the most humble guys I have ever met. In the past two months he has grown in his testimony and knowledge more than I have in all my life. Things that I am still figuring out, he knows, is learning or has learned. (His birthday is March 15th 1949.) I can't put into words the joy I feel and felt today. I saw him become a clean and pure Man, the most clean and pure person in the room. When we were getting dressed before the baptism, we heard people singing in the other room and he started singing along too. He is an awesome man. He has a big testimony that I'm sure it will expand to be one of the biggest in the branch . I'm very excited for him. Also Volodia the younger is going into the army tomorrow. I am really going to miss him. I am also really looking forward to Finland! We leave tomorrow. I'm excited. I think this week will be one of the best of my life!
I'm happy!
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