Self Worth

Your self worth can be the single biggest obstacle in your life. Unfortunately, most other people will try to make that obstacle larger because of their own insecurities and others are simply sadistic because misery loves company. 

In my youth self worth was a deep struggle, here is a small taste of what I mean:
When I was a young my mother didn't value me much. Something must have happened to her that made her hate men. I am the only boy of four kids, continually being torn down and told I was worthless, that I would never amount to anything. I'd be lying if I told you it still doesn't affect me to this day. Even my close friends didn't value me much. I was 'broken'. I came from a broken home, divorce, abuse, etc. It doesn't help that as a toddler I was in an accident that caused me to only be able to see out of one eye at a time and consequently have little to no depth perception. Because of that, I was always last picked because I could never catch a ball. This further reduced the self worth I saw in myself and I remember one time my "friends" decided to play a prank on me that they wouldn't have tried on each other. Some of them distracted me with conversation while another peed all over my back.
When I was an older teenager, some other "friends" got into pipe bomb building for fun. They blew up dirt mounds, which escalated to mailboxes, eventually working their way up to an old truck in a field. Which they then got arrested for. At the time, I had been working at the fourth circuit court as an assistant. I would help with filing documents and tickets. My "friends" tried to jump me because I wouldn't throw away their file. I feel that their actions may have been different had I not had such low self esteem. Because how you see yourself more often than not, whether you like it or not, is how other people will see you.

Having come a long ways since my youth, I have overcome much of my self worth challenges. This last weekend I made a huge accomplishment in the eyes of others and I received much praise for it. Although most of our accomplishments in life are never celebrated or praised, all I did was successfully lead a very good group of other volunteers, like myself, in maintaining crowd/line control. I wish we would all celebrate the real accomplishments that each of us makes. When we overcome a fear. When we love someone unconditionally. When we give service to others. I wish those kind of things were the things we were paid for in this life. That would make this world the best place to live.

My greater accomplishments in life include lucking out and finding a good family to take me in when I was homeless at sixteen after my mom had kicked me out for the third and last time in four years.

Successfully serving the people of Russia while serving an LDS mission taught me much about my own self worth. I didn't serve as a missionary for praise or baptisms, I served because I wanted to help people. And I did.

But my greatest accomplishment though, requires the biggest investment of time and Love that I have ever given. It is my Children, my Wife and my Family. I get a bigger return on that investment than I have from anything else, ever!

We all overcome many challenges and obstacles. The prescription for them all at its core, is Love. Love for yourself, Love for others, Love for Life!

I am being praised for my service as a volunteer at the Salt Lake Comic Con FanX event. I may have stepped up and took control when the time called for it, but I couldn't have done any of it had there not been so many great individuals there ready and willing to help. Every great leader listens to the voice of the people he serves. Because therein lies the wealth of knowledge needed for success.  The greatest gift we can all share as individuals is our own unique perspective. And the greatest gift a leader can give, is to listen.

All the power you need to accomplish your wildest dreams already lies within you! You need only realize it is there. Wake it from the depths of your soul and raise it up strong and proud like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

 I'd like to close with one of my favorite quotes that I feel more than adequately concludes this post:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others“.

-Nelson Mandela