The "#me too" trend is a victims mentality. It is a path I refuse to take because it's a very selfish one. Yes, I've been a victim, we've all experienced sexual assault to a degree. Some far, far, worse than others. Don't get me wrong, terrible things happen and they should be avoided at all costs, with anyone, anywhere. But dredging up all these terrible things just to be able to participate in a "poor me" trend, is absurd. Because I could win a "poor me" argument against most anyone. The difference is I actively choose to accept it for what it was, learn from it so I don't repeat it and move on.
The reason I can't post this and won't is because most people need a face of evil. They need a face to blame. Someone they can blame it all on. I stand as a strong advocate against sexual assault or assault of any kind. I'm one of the most kind, gentleman like men I know. I always try to do what is right. I always try to lift others up. As long as I have strength, I'll do this. However, I won't raise my voice to this because nothing good can come of it. Nothing good can come from wallowing in our past. Now if someone is actively going through this, I stand firmly with them and would fight tooth and nail to defend them.
The layers of life are like the layers of soil that build up and turn to stone. Each day is a new layer. Adding to the years and solidifying more as time goes on. An excavation can be done to give us a synopsis of what has happened in our lives that shaped us and molded us into the wonderful beings that each of us uniquely are. Dredging up past pain disturbs the soil around it. The healing that has taken place and solidified with time. Causing a secondary healing to need to take place. You are actively forcing yourself to go relive something again that has hopefully already been dealt with. This can only be healthy if it wasn't dealt with properly in the first place. I don't want to post my tumultuous past on social media because it doesn't contribute to anyone's healing, it doesn't make anyone better in any way.
It's saying poor me. I need attention too. Instead of healing and moving on. If we constantly dig up these negative things, it not only affects our present, but it shapes our future because we are refusing to live in the present. Yes, these terrible things happen, and to a varying degree, they have happened to all of us. It's like bullying. I see the similarities in many ways. In my youth, I was both bullied and at times, through stark realization, learned that I had also been a bully. Any one of us has participated on both sides. Most likely without even knowing it. Simply laughing at a denigrating joke is an example of a small contribution.
Dredging up these painful things in our lives can cause us to slip into a victim's mindset. It is a very selfish mindset. I'm not trying to play down some of the terrible things that happen. But if you are trying to participate because you were the victim of someone's words. Or something small relative to someone who was violently raped. You need to reassess why you are participating.
Tearing one another down for attention isn't contributing to the improvement of society. If you want to complain, think about just how bad it can be before you complain. Instead, count your blessings. You have so much opportunity. You have countless blessings in your life. Focus on that! Build your future on that instead of building on the victim's mentality because that mentality only grows darker, deeper and more lonely.
Instead, focus on this mentality:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Let your light shine!
The reason I can't post this and won't is because most people need a face of evil. They need a face to blame. Someone they can blame it all on. I stand as a strong advocate against sexual assault or assault of any kind. I'm one of the most kind, gentleman like men I know. I always try to do what is right. I always try to lift others up. As long as I have strength, I'll do this. However, I won't raise my voice to this because nothing good can come of it. Nothing good can come from wallowing in our past. Now if someone is actively going through this, I stand firmly with them and would fight tooth and nail to defend them.
The layers of life are like the layers of soil that build up and turn to stone. Each day is a new layer. Adding to the years and solidifying more as time goes on. An excavation can be done to give us a synopsis of what has happened in our lives that shaped us and molded us into the wonderful beings that each of us uniquely are. Dredging up past pain disturbs the soil around it. The healing that has taken place and solidified with time. Causing a secondary healing to need to take place. You are actively forcing yourself to go relive something again that has hopefully already been dealt with. This can only be healthy if it wasn't dealt with properly in the first place. I don't want to post my tumultuous past on social media because it doesn't contribute to anyone's healing, it doesn't make anyone better in any way.
It's saying poor me. I need attention too. Instead of healing and moving on. If we constantly dig up these negative things, it not only affects our present, but it shapes our future because we are refusing to live in the present. Yes, these terrible things happen, and to a varying degree, they have happened to all of us. It's like bullying. I see the similarities in many ways. In my youth, I was both bullied and at times, through stark realization, learned that I had also been a bully. Any one of us has participated on both sides. Most likely without even knowing it. Simply laughing at a denigrating joke is an example of a small contribution.
Dredging up these painful things in our lives can cause us to slip into a victim's mindset. It is a very selfish mindset. I'm not trying to play down some of the terrible things that happen. But if you are trying to participate because you were the victim of someone's words. Or something small relative to someone who was violently raped. You need to reassess why you are participating.
Tearing one another down for attention isn't contributing to the improvement of society. If you want to complain, think about just how bad it can be before you complain. Instead, count your blessings. You have so much opportunity. You have countless blessings in your life. Focus on that! Build your future on that instead of building on the victim's mentality because that mentality only grows darker, deeper and more lonely.
Instead, focus on this mentality:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Let your light shine!
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