Listening Challenge

I'd like to talk about language. About listening to the intent of people's hearts, rather than the words they are using to convey that message. I prefer to look at communication as the conveyance of what is within the heart.

For example, if I want to say "I love you", I can choose the most simple and direct way to communicate that and simply say, I love you! Or I can elude to it in a many different ways, "I have strong feelings for you" or "I REALLY like you". But what if I'm talking to my sister or another family member. That is a different kind of love. I might give them a compliment being more specific about what made me feel that within my heart in that moment. "You are such a strong support to me, I really appreciate how much you help me, that you are willing to drop everything to listen or have helped when I needed it most."

I might even use a different language to convey the feelings of my heart, ich liebe dich (German), te amo (Spanish), 我愛你 (Chinese), aloha wau iā 'oe (Hawaiian), אני אוהב אותך (Hebrew), je t'aime (French), Я люблю тебя (Russian) or Ngiyakuthanda (Zulu). Although these seem so starkly different, they are all conveying the same thought and feeling, "I love you!" 

From an outside perspective, when God is trying to understand the message we are conveying, I'm betting he is looking at our messages in this way. By the intent and feelings of our heart, rather than the words we so eloquently chose. When I learned Russian for example, I learned to convey messages in an entirely different way, both linguistically and culturally. Dialects vary by region. A colloquialism may even vary although the message of the heart is the same. For example, being "wet behind the ears" in Russian is "having milk on the lips." Both colloquialisms are conveying the same thought, that one is new at something and may still be figuring it out. Which when you think about it, that message is all of us at some point in our lives. 

Although language is simply the way we chose to convey the feelings in our heart, some people can be easily offended by the way another person chooses to convey those feelings. Take one of the most versatile words in the English language, "f**k" for example. Some people might be very offended whenever it shows up, regardless of the intent of the heart of the individual. I'd bet that someone just stopped reading. Which is unfortunate, because that reaction is at the core of what I'm trying to convey. 

Google describes this word like this...

"F**k is one of the most common words in English — it's also one of the most offensive. It's main meaning is "have sex," but it has hundreds of other uses. ...Despite all the people who don't want to hear it, f**k is one of the most common obscenities, and can be used as a noun, verb, adjective, and adverb."

If someone is using "f**k" every other word, they may be trying to simply add emphasis to their message. In Russian, there is a word specifically designated to add emphasis without offense, "же". What a magical solution, a word that isn't offensive at all. Adding emphasis with the word "f**k", is a way some people chose to convey that they are passionate about their feelings. Although many people perceive it as though they are SCREAMING IN ALL CAPS! Who wants to be around someone who is screaming all the time. I feel that way often.

Although I can't help but feel that if I shift my perspective a little, I might be able to hear better, the message being conveyed. Whether someone is cursing or is using a large vocabulary, I challenge myself to listen to the core message that is coming from the heart of the individual I'm listening to. With this intent in mind, I think it will be almost impossible to be offended by the words someone chooses to convey the feelings of their heart.