Thegn and Marilee's Wedding Ceremony

Hello everyone, and welcome! My name is Tony, I am a longtime brother, friend and lunch buddy of the groom, and I will be officiating their wedding ceremony today.

Thegn and Marilee are honored that you, their dearest friends and family, have traveled from so

far to help them celebrate their love and commitment to each other. They would sincerely like to thank all of you, and to express their appreciation for the unconditional love, support, and guidance that each of you have shown to them throughout the years.

     

They would also like to ask for a brief moment of silence to acknowledge their loved ones who could not be here today—-- We think of them now and can feel their presence here with us today.

*moment of silence*

Thank you.

Friends, Family; We are here to celebrate the marriage of two amazing individuals. Marriage is sacred and divine. It is a celebration between two souls opening themselves up to one another, in a bond that cannot be measured on a worldly scale. It is about Love, trust, communication, and forgiveness. 

Love is not so much about finding the right person, but about creating a right relationship with the person you find. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning. But how much love you both build along the way. The greatest love of all is charity. Have charity towards one another. I promise that if you do only this one thing, you will have a successful marriage. Love  unceasingly, Love deep, Love hard, Love strong. Let the love flow wild and free. Don't let any fears keep you from sharing that love with each other.

Marriage is a journey together, not a destination, and it is the greatest adventure you will ever undertake. Make sure to enjoy it, and don’t take any day for granted.  Laugh together, even through the struggles.  Hold hands, dance, sing, tease, enjoy nature, and appreciate the little and big things that make you both unique. Encourage each other in your dreams and desires and don't discourage each other in any way.  Make goals together and share everything with one another.

Trust each other fully and don't break that trust. When you have arguments: Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to forgive and forget, but that's exactly what you need to do. Give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty. Loyalty means you put the other person in your marriage first all the time, and you let them put you first. Loyalty means subverting your whims or desires of the moment to better meet your spouse’s whims or desires, with the full understanding and expectation that they will be doing the same. This is the heart of everything, and it is a tricky balance. Sometimes it sways one way and some the other. Sometimes he gets to be crazy, sometimes it’s your turn. Sometimes she’s in the spotlight, sometimes you. Ups and downs ultimately don’t matter, because the team endures.

Because marriage is such an important relationship in life, it needs and deserves time. Do not give higher priority to less-important commitments. Take time to talk together and to listen to one another. Use tender, loving, communication as a tool to help navigate. Be thoughtful and respectful. Express tender feelings and affection often. Determine that nothing will ever come between you and your sweetheart to disrupt your marriage. Resolve to make your marriage succeed, in spite of the challenges that arise.

No ceremony can create a marriage. These are just words.  As the years go by, continue to build your marriage through patience, dedication and perseverance; through talking, understanding, listening, trusting, helping, supporting and believing in each other. As the years flow by, your strong, resilient marriage will be full of character, encouragement, and most of all, LOVE! Nourish this marriage that you’ve grown from a seed, and continue to grow it into the strong, stalwart union that it is destined to be. So that it will not only withstand the years and decades but will stand tall throughout the eternities.

Rings Vows and Hand-fasting part of the ceremony:

Thegn and Marilee have chosen to do a Hand-fasting ceremony.

While Thegn and Marilee prepare for this I will explain this part of the ceremony. They will place the rings on each other's fingers, then join hands together and tie the knot around their joined hands.

Hand-fasting is a tradition that started in Celtic culture, which is now practiced among many cultures. It is where the term, "tying the knot" came from. The knot is meant to form an infinity symbol and represents the love that has bound your two hearts together. You have joined hands touching your ring fingers together. Because as the tradition goes, the ring finger is the only finger that has a vein that leads directly to the heart. In this way, as you go throughout life, you need only look at the ring on your finger to be reminded of the direct connection to each other's hearts. I'm going to read a poem called:

"The Blessing of the Hands"

These are the hands of your best friend, young, strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

And lastly, these are the hands that, even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

-Author Unknown

Marilee, Thegn, this infinity knot represents the love and harmony that you have for one another. The rings you placed on each other's fingers are a reminder of this unity, and the wholeness and connection with one another's hearts.

The "I Do's"

Vows:

Thegn and Marilee: Having considered all that love and marriage entail, I ask that you each now make your personal vows to each other.

*Thegn’s vows*

*Marilee’s vows*

I now ask you both to affirm your wedding vows.

Do you Thegn, take Marilee to be your wife, to be her constant friend, her partner in life, and her true love. To love her without reservation, honor and respect her, protect her from harm, comfort her in times of distress, and to grow with her in mind and spirit?

Do you Marilee, take Thegn to be your husband, to be his constant friend, his partner in life, and his true love? To love him without reservation, honor and respect him, protect him from harm, comfort him in times of distress, and to grow with him in mind and spirit?

In the presence of these family and friends I now pronounce you husband and wife!

You may kiss the bride!

Friends and Family, it is my great joy and pleasure to present to you...

Thegn and Marilee Wise!

I have a favorite picture of most couples. This is Thegn and Marilee's. 

...this photo coming in a close second. I love that this one captures their youthful and playful attitudes. 

This photo and the video are courtesy of Akbar.

Jim and Evie's Wedding Ceremony

 

Good evening everyone and thank you for coming!

It looks like we're ready to begin, will everyone please stand as we welcome

the Bride.

Thank you, you may take your seats.

First off, we'd like to welcome all of the friends and numerous siblings and their

families. You've been so supportive to us and we are grateful for you.

To our Parental figures here tonight:

Ginny Lakey, Mother of the groom, Joseph Wise, unofficial adoptive father of

the groom, Bill and Chris Kloezman, Jim's Uncle and Aunt.

We are so happy you can be here, and are grateful for everything you've done

for us. Milagrosa Alicia, mother of the bride, could not make the long journey

from the Philippines, but we do love and miss her and are thinking of her this evening.

Finally Paulino Balut, father of the bride, and Anne Wise, unofficial adoptive

mother of the groom, who have both recently passed. We think of you and wish

you could be here with us. We love and miss you!

For those of you who don't know, here is the story of Jim and Elvi:

Four years ago they were lucky enough to meet by chance when she rented a

room in his home. So they had the opportunity to be roommates as they became

friends. They got along amazingly and as time went on, their close friendship grew

into a loving romantic relationship. They have found shared happiness in making a

home together, in traveling, in boating, and in raising their wonderful daughter, Starla. 

Some words of advice:

If you're not careful, marriage can become difficult. Marriage can become

competitive and selfish. Marriage can become dull and routine.

Don’t let it!

If you’re careful, marriage can be a joyful friendship, an equal loving partnership,

and a lifetime of wonderful memories.

Make it so!

Above all, remember to continually put your partner first, ensuring and rejoicing

in their comfort, their success, their joy, and your life will be amazing and full

for all the days of your life.

Now for the vows:

Please face one another and join hands. 

Do you James Hemmert , take Elvira Balut to be your lawfully wedded wife, to

have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for richer or

for poorer, for as long as you both shall live?

Do you, Elvira Balut , take James Hemmert to be your lawfully wedded husband,

to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for richer or

for poorer, for as long as you both shall live?

And now for the rings:

Jim, please place the ring on Elvi’s hand as you say, “with this ring, I thee wed”

(Jim places the ring)

Elvi, please place the ring on Jim’s hand as you say "with this ring, I thee wed”

(Elvi places the ring)

I now pronounce you husband and wife. 

You may kiss the Bride!

https://youtu.be/QwHzFpuXPPA

If I die before I live to be 100...

This post has been sitting in my queue for quite some time. Although I feel it isn't ready, Austin had a team mate pass away and I'd like to share these thoughts with him:

If I were to die early, I'd want my wife and my kids to know how deeply I love them. They are my reason to live, work, and be a good man. That I will watch over them from the other side. (In a non-creepy sort of way) When my grandmother passed, she was simply gone for about 3 months. Then I felt her presence again in my life until I entered the MTC, then it felt as though she moved on to other things. She was big into temple work. If someone on the other side pushes missionary and temple work, there must be some truth to it. 

There have been several deaths in my life where I have continued to feel their presence until they were buried. I feel there is a space of time sometimes granted to us right after we pass. A time allotted where we are allowed to interact more with our loved ones until our body is buried or our affairs in order. In those interactions, I've felt and noticed that our agency is still not taken from us. That our individual truth, remains so. Which is why I imagine missionary work is still so needed on the other side. 

If I am able to, I'd like to donate my organs to someone in need of them. Not medical science, just to be an organ donor. These eyes have seen some of the most beautiful things the earth has to offer. I would love for nothing more than for them to allow another being to experience the same. I have taken good care of my organs and am in relatively good health. I've always donated blood. Over 8 gallons worth. 

The love we build here has to have boundless value on the other side. How could it not? It's one of the few things of intricate value we can take with us. 

We each have a spirit body in which our conciseness resides. Every one of us are an eternal being. This spirit body essentially drives our physical bodies. Because we are eternal beings, we can't be killed. Those who attempt it are just putting themselves in the next phase of our eternal existence before they are ready for that next step. I'd like to think that the love and atonement of Christ will have a redeeming affect on those I know who have chosen to leave this mortal existence prematurely. But I don't know how it works, I only know that I've felt the spirit very strongly at some funerals of suicide victims. One of those times was the wonderful spirit felt at Jacob Garza's life celebration. Although he was not religious, the spirit was felt stronger at his funeral than any other I've ever attended. 

The most significant and most powerful thing I've felt in my life is the calm, consistent current that is Jesus Christ. He's not loud, never overbearing and definitely not forceful. He is calm, His love is greater and more consistent than I've felt anywhere else in my time here on earth.

The gentle current that is Christ.

"My kingdom is not of this world." Over the years, I've learned my treasure is not of this realm. Let me explain, as mortals here on earth we will all die. The goal, the most important purpose can't be to attain material possessions. The most obvious reasoning is we can't take them with us. We're all going to eventually pass to the next realm. So that begs the question; what CAN we take with us? It's most certainly not something money can buy. A testimony of truth, a greater understanding, and appreciating a deeper love. But what's not always considered is, we can and do take each other to the next world. So our relationships, our love invested and freely given while here on earth has to have immense value in the life to come. 

So what can we give? 

To our Creator, Redeemer and to one another, we can give our love, our loyalty, our time, our patience, we can build up and help each other succeed in our endeavors. We can care for the ones we will eventually leave behind. The ways in which we can do this vary greatly. I've learned that respecting where we each are individually, and not judging based on my own timeline and understanding. After all, we are all eternal beings on an eternal path, some truths new to me, you may have learned ions ago. 

Each of us is gifted talents and abilities, tools that we are to use to accomplish the goals He has set before us. Indeed that gentle, consistent, current that IS Christ will always continue to draw us to Him. The sooner we realize and stop fighting against that current, the sooner we will realize that if we swim WITH the current, we can make far more progress than we ever imagined. 

The best talk ever given on suicide and mental health was given by Elder Holland. 

Fuck Cancer, Part 2

So... I just got another diagnosis for cancer. I went in for my yearly check-up and the biopsy came back positive for cancer. Fortunately this time it's just squamous cell carcinoma, not melanoma like last time. They had me go back in to take more skin from around that spot, to make sure they got it all. It was a procedure called Mohs surgery. It took a few hours because they analyzed what they cut out immediately to make sure they got it all, while I waited in the waiting room with all the other old men.  

Side concern, I had to wait over a year last time before I was eligible to donate blood again. I'm up to 8 gallons now. (67 donations) 

It's not as traumatic this time. Catching it early last time made the experience mild, as compared to how traumatic I imagine it can be for some people to get a cancer diagnosis. But the issue to me is that the spot is on my face. I just hope the scar isn't too bad. 

This spots back story:

This was just a spot that had progressively begin to bother me more each year. When I was a teenager, struggling with acne, this spot was bothersome and unlike most acne, it wouldn't pop no matter how much I squeezed. Washing didn't help either, it was just irritating. I eventually got tired of the irritation and took plyers to it, squeezing as hard as I could. I recall it not being a very productive pop, but it popped and I let it heal. Over the past decade, it has progressively become more of a nuisance. Every few days, I've been able to get it to pop like a zit with just a slight squeeze. The scar tissue had built up such that this area healed very quickly between popping's. There were hairs that would grow in and around the area, adding to the irritation and I would tweeze them regularly. Last year, I mentioned this spot to the dermatologist and he froze it, but that freezing had little affect after it healed. This year the dermatologist decided to "punch it out". It bled much more than he anticipated. Needing just a few stitches, the biopsy healed quickly. 

At the second procedure, The surgeon remarked at the amount of scar tissue in this area. In fact, if you look closely, you can see just how deep the scar tissue went. It's the white tissue at the center of the hole, just above the dark red spot that was the vein they had to zap a lot in order to get it to stop bleeding. 

Here are the pictures: 

Warning!

They are graphic! 

This picture was taken after the biopsy had healed and before the surgery. 

It's just that little spot on my cheek. 

It's graphic! 

Ready? 

There is no turning back, no unseeing it!

This shows where they cut extra skin away to prevent the scar from being bulky on either side. The scar line is intended to go along my smile line, in order to help it better blend in. 

Although I didn't have a mirror, and while the area was quite numbed, I could tell that the surgeon was separating the surrounding skin from the tissue inside and underneath the opening, much like when you're skinning a deer. I imagine this helps the stretched and healing skin reattach to the new area. Preventing any odd shaped areas as it heals. Six internal and 17 external stitches later. 

Here is what it looks like a few days after the surgery. (Stitches will be removed in a week.) 

As there is no more eloquent way to end this post, so I'll just say it...

#FUCKCANCER

Brave Little Raindrop

The brave little raindrop heard a voice say "it's time to go"
Time to go down to the Earth far below.
This is a journey you must take
This is a journey you must make.

The brave little raindrop didn't feel so brave
The brave little raindrop knew she must behave.
So quietly and lovingly the cloud gave a nudge
And off fell the raindrop to the ground from above.

The brave little raindrop was on her way
Falling fast, scared and lonely as the cloud drifted away.
The brave little raindrop landed with a splash,
on the face of a child giggling with a laugh.

The brave little raindrop felt such love to be
on the face of an angel who really must be.
But the brave little raindrops adventure had just begun
Because out from behind the clouds came the glowing warm Sun.

The brave little raindrop began to evaporate
Up, up into the sky she must surely wait
For the brave little raindrop was on her way 

back to the loving cloud to fall yet another day.

The brave little raindrops adventures didn't stop
She fell into a lake, a river and a mountain top
During winters she froze and often turned to snow
Drifting slowly down glaciers to the depths far below.

She visited lands far and near 

exploring the Earth way up here,
So many other friends, so many places to roam 

She felt so cozy and snuggled, this earth was her home

The brave little raindrop flew far away

on the winds of the Earth in the clouds day by day. 

Airplanes whizzed past and birds flew too.

Some days were scary and some were just blue.

No longer in fear she was excited now. 

Having adventures and exploring the world all around.

Impervious to death she knew she would just change shape

Gas, solid or liquid. Sometimes reemerging even in a grape

Sometimes the adventures were sad

sometimes the adventures made her feel glad.
Some adventures were up, some were down

Through it all she wore a smile not a frown.

Realizing that she would fall another day
again and again she would love, laugh and play
Exploring the world with such Vigor and wonder

So much joy with her friends, Mrs. lightning and Mr. thunder

Sometimes years would go by as she floated away
waiting for the cloud to call her yet another day.
On another adventure to see the world from on high.

Sometimes just cheering on her friends as they drifted by.

The brave little raindrop is so much like you! 

Exploring the world, with so much to do. 

Find your passion, learn and grow

Share what you learn with the others as you go. 

Work and play, find what you love to do, 

share that with others help them find their passions too 

So that all the raindrops might have a better day 

sharing this planet, together we can all wash the bad away.

Can you draw a raindrop? Where is it going? Where has it been?

Make up your own story, for your raindrop adventures are about to begin. 

Our deepest fear is not that we aren't enough,

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful and tough.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. 

Ask yourself, who am I to be gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? 

Actually, who are you not to be? 

You are a child of God. Both you and me. 

Your playing small doesn't serve the world. 

Don't shrink to fit in, don't just do what you're told. 

We are all meant to shine, as children do. 

We're born manifesting the glory of God too.

It's not in just some, it is in everyone. 

We can love, grow and shine to let out our fun. 

This, when we do 

Gives others permission too. 

When we are free from our fears

We free others from their tears.

-Maryann Williamson

Reworded by Tony Woodbury

Christlike humility (June 2020)

It takes all my focus to even grasp the enormity of it all. He understands us all. The worst of us, the best of us. The most reclusive and the most social. As the great shepherd, there is nowhere he won't go to retrieve us in our sin. Not in the depth of our sin or sorrow.

I find it interesting that so many imperfect and broken people, seem to dwell on their ideals and broken ways. Like a fist closed tight, they hold to them so tightly, they refuse to allow the light of Christ to give them the gifts he so lovingly offers. I just hope that I can be humble and open enough to allow Christ's light into my life.

While it is very difficult to maintain a Christlike humility, life is infinitely better from that perspective. In every way.

Is pain real? Is Love real? Is the spirit we feel not just as real? Just as we can numb ourselves to love and pain. We can  numb ourselves to the impressions of the spirit. It takes focus to overcome or accept those things. Our inner choices affect how we will perceive what's going on around us.

Don't' numb out, feel the feels, live life!

2020Mar09
Thought about evil that came to me during sacrament yesterday.

There is no evil, there is no them. The only place in this world that evil can truly exist, is in the hearts of those who allow it in and then act on it. God, in his infinite wisdom has allowed us equal proportionate amounts of good and evil. Allowing for ourselves to chose. Every time we gain a greater sorrow, we learn its opposite. I shared this with the teachers quorum when the topic came up towards the end of a lesson.

Like Satan in the temple ceremony, he is always throwing out ideas. The only ones with power over us, are the ones we let in.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, hate, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

They are both just as important. For how could we know and fully appreciate the one, without the other.

Satan wasn't wrong in the endowment. He was using the truth to manipulate Eve.  Knowing good and evil presents us with blessings that otherwise would go unnoticed or unappreciated. Pleasure and pain, health and sickness etc.

When Christ suffered in gethsemane and paid the debt for us all. The depth at which he experienced a deeper anger, hate, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, ego, brought him a greater joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith than we could ever comprehend. The level at which we experience these things is barely a blip compared to what Jesus experienced. Oh how much love he must have for each of us. It's incomprehensible!

Tithing - My interpretation

This is a difficult thing for me. Paying money to an already extremely wealthy organization. 

While in Jail, it was revealed to Joseph Smith that we are to pay one tenth of what is remaining in our storehouse annually. I'm not sure what's changed since then that the argument began to be net or gross. Perhaps it is because people want to stand out from their neighbors as more worthy of a more celestial glory. IDK. 

I struggle paying, knowing that the money is just going to pad the already HUGE coffers of an organization that is ran more like a business than a religious organization. The church owns stock, I barely own any stock. The church has no need to ever worry about retirement, I barely have any savings, let alone enough to ever retire. Seriously, why does the church own any portion of facebook?! Grr...

Needless to say, How would I run it, if it were my decision. I don't know. I might buy up a bunch of precious metals and land. But knowing how much land the church already owns, I bet they've already done that. What's in stocks is likely negligible, relatively speaking. 

All this, yet I still pay tithing. Why?! because I've felt this is 100% going towards the Lord's house. Towards his will, when He gets here and starts to run things. He may have them shift funds around and invest otherwise but really, why would He need any of it? He has the universe at His whim. 

I think it has more to do with teaching me how to think more like he does. How to be more like Him. I don't pay gross or even net. I pay one tenth of what I make monthly, after I deduct things dedicated to Him. Like living expenses.

Isn't the higher law, the law of consecration? If we were living by the law of consecration, I would have a roof over my head, medical care, food for my family, transportation, clothing and other basic necessities and a job. So I deduct those costs and pay on what's leftover. I dedicate everything to the Lord. This has brought me a higher accountability, not just in what I spend monetarily but also how I spend my time and how I use those things that are dedicated unto Him. Isn't our time worth money too? Serving our neighbors, family and friends has to mean something to Him, if done with the right spirit. So I take it one step further, and try to dedicate myself, my time, my efforts, my heart, all to Him. To things I think he would want me to be doing. How he'd like me to dedicate my time. Serving others. We serve missions when were eighteen and serve for two years.

One of the best places I could ever invest and serve is within the walls of my own home. What better missionary work can I do than to minister to the sweet spirits put in my care and in the circle of my influence. To Love and to serve my wife, my kids and my family. Taking it one step further, as difficult as it is to do kind things for my ex-wife, after all the horrible things she did to me. With an eternal perspective in mind, I can see that she is a daughter of God and although I eventually gave up on her, as far as being a spouse is concerned, He hasn't given up on her and He knows greater things than I could possibly imagine in the moment. Things like me doing kind things for her affects the way she sees me as the father of her kids. But more importantly, the perspective of my kids. How they see me treating her. How she and I interact. How I reinforce her parenting and encourage the kids to help out around her house, as well as ours.

As I go through my monthly budget figuring out my tithing. I try to follow the spirit. I pray beforehand and ask to be guided. This general practice allows me to work my spiritual muscles so they are ready on a moments notice, should I be called upon. Trying to determine what, if any charges can be dedicated to the building of His kingdom. 

I have felt that the cell phone bill is something I can dedicate to Him. And in so doing, I keep in mind that everything I do with that device, should be used to build the kingdom of God. It keeps me from even considering pursuing worldly things using that device. The same goes with internet usage. 

Another example that bewildered me a bit; I came across a charge I wouldn't have figured could be deducted, my wife's hair appointment. But the spirit told me to go ahead and deduct that charge. I inquired as to how that could possibly be dedicated to the Lord. The answer came that things that go towards building positive, loving relationships with my wife and children are something God would want me to be doing. It's where I should be spending my time and efforts. 

Something like going out to dinner doesn't count, unless I'm taking the missionaries to dinner. 

It's not just monetary things. While I've been blessed with good health, I feel it's my obligation to dedicate my strength to help someone move, my time and genuine effort to help someone feel loved. I donate blood to help save someone's life in need. And I very recently signed up to be a marrow donor. After all, these things aren't mine. It really all belongs to He who created me and the universe. With that grand perspective, my humble part is nothing to Him. But everything to me. Why? because I'm being taught to see things as He does. I'm training my mind to give up worldly pursuits and instead, focus on things that matter, things with eternal consequence. This is how I want to live my life and the rest of my days. 

It's not about money, it's about me becoming what God wants me to be. It's in the details, he is teaching me to be more in tune with the spirit. To be obedient to the promptings I more readily feel. I practice by listening. It's like learning a new language, the best way to learn is to keep speaking it.